Alone and Lonely have two different meanings.

She could hear the faint laughter in the background. People, her own family enjoying themselves.

Where was she? On the floor of her bathroom wondering what was wrong with her.

Through tear glistened eyes, she watches an ant crawling on the floor. An ant she thought. It just obeys orders. Without thinking too much. Exactly the opposite of her.

Loner. Misunderstood. These words she was very familiar with. They defined her life. Never fitting in anywhere.

Her first childhood memories come rushing to her. How she had trouble making friends. Untill her sister rescued her. She had amazing people skills and still did. A large bunch of her friends were only due to her sister.

It continued like that throughout her life. But she was so busy studying, she didn’t let it affect her. She was studying to be a doctor and kept herself satisfied with the thought that med school would have more people like her.

But her bad luck continued. Her intj habits made people seem she is aloof or arrogant. She found people superficial and shallow. That is not how doctors are supposed to be she thought.

She felt like the same scared school girl again. Now it was even worse. There is pressure to get liked by the opposite sex also. Fat chance she thought. I can barely make girl friends.

She wished she had someone who understood her. At times she thought she was weird or that something was wrong with her. Maybe she was a defective piece. Other people didn’t find it so hard.

Pressure of studies in med school caught up to her. But no one to talk to about it. She had a few friends but still felt an invisible barrier between which she could not cross.

Her family was supportive but also thought of her as arrogant and rude. This feature of her personality compounded by her journey in med school. So after an argument with them, where she knew she was right, she slinked away quietly to the bathroom.

The one place that was truly hers. Over the years she had learnt to cry silently without anyone knowing what she was up to. She hated showing her emotions. This was her safe space.

Wiping her tears, Tomorrow is a new day she consoled herself as she always did. Her stress was released and she was relaxed.

Putting a smile on her face, she walked out and joined her family who didn’t notice her absence but were happy to have her all the same.


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